* Todd's webpage left something out. Maybe it's because it was based on the Egyptian Sephiroth. (Which would explain the wonky spellings.) Anyway, you know the drill... it's time to learn about the Sephiroth with Inu. Inu: *waves* Hi, everyone! Da'at, which is pronounced "Dah-aht", is a quasi-sefirah. It is an exterior representation of Kether, and not a separate branch. Da'at is found on the second highest place on the pillar of compassion, just below Binah and Chokmah. Da'at is therefore a harmonizing agent between these two Sefirah. It is usually called "Knowledge" and described as "divine inspiration". [Source: pg 65-66, "Kabbalah: Key to Your Inner Power" by Elizabeth Clare Prophet.] Right, thanks, Inu. Inu: Ne, Boss... me and the raven couldn't help noticing that this part was pathetically short. Now, difficult as it was to write, shouldn't you at least offer some cheesy omake or something? I don't want to, Inu. I'm tired. Inu: Fine then. I'll provide some cheesy filler stuff. You'll regret it. I do already. ---- Sammy Filler was sitting on the couch, when the loud knock came at his door. He stood, dusting off his jeans and sweatshirt, and pushed his brown hair out of his brown eyes. Walking to the door, he opened it to see a FedEx employee standing there with an envelope in one hand, and one of those electronic signature things in the other. "For you," said the FedEx man. "Sign here." Sammy signed his name on the funny little pad with the not-really-a-pen, and then he shut the door and walked back to the couch. He opened the envelope and dumped out the contents. A pair of mirrored black Ray Bans tumbled out and fell in his lap. "SARAH," a disembodied voice boomed. "YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO FULFILL A GREAT DESTINY." "Er, my name's Sammy," Sammy replied. "OH. SORRY. YOU ARE NOT A GIRL THEN?" "Er, no." There was a pause. "WELL, IT CAN'T BE HELPED. SAMMY, YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO FULFILL A GREAT DESTINY." "Really?" Sammy asked. "What kind of great destiny?" "YOU ARE GOING TO PROVIDE JOY AND LIGHT TO THE WORLD." "Really?" Sammy asked, eyes brightening. "Cool!" "ACTUALLY, NO." The voice admitted. "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A POINTLESS ADVENTURE THAT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE MUCH SENSE OR SEVRE ANY REAL PURPOSE IN THE LONG RUN." "What?" "YES. NOW PUT ON YOUR TRANSFORMATION RAY BANS. YOU MUST GO AND HAVE A POINTLESS ADVENTURE NOW." "I feel as if I should argue with you over this," Sammy began. "NO, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A POINTLESS ADVENTURE. RIGHT NOW." "Well, if you insist." Sammy put on the Ray Bans. "Now what do I do, Disembodied voice?" "CALL OUT: 'AWAKEN OH GREAT WARRIOR CHAMPION OF FILLER SCENES'." "...Right." Sammy looked around to make sure no one was watching, and then he cleared his throat. " 'Awaken oh, great Warrior Champion of Filler Scenes!' " -- Swift Demon Productions Presents The Merry (Albeit) Rather Pointless Adventures of SubQuest Boy Adventure One: Something Almost Happens by: Inu preread by: Lazuli -- SubQuest Boy looked down at his faded wide-leg jeans, black and red long- sleeved shirt and addias sneakers. "Er? Voice?" "Yes?" "Um, I own all these clothes. They're in my closet upstairs." "Yes?" "Well, I assumed that my transformation would involve flashy lights and would result in me getting incredibly weird clothes and powers," SubQuest Boy replied. "Your hair is now bright red. Does that help?" The now bright red-haired SubQuest Boy nodded. "Oh yes, thanks." He paused. "Could I have gloves or something, too?" "Er... sure." He looked down at his black fingerless gloves. "Cool. Thanks," he replied, as he flexed his fingers. "What now?" "Now, you go and have a pointless adventure. Try to resolve it within the next two pages." SubQuest Boy frowned. "Hey, weren't you shouting earlier?" "I stopped," the voice replied, coughing. "It hurts my throat." There was a pause. "Now, SubQuest Boy, outside to embark on your first adventure!" "What is my first adventure, Voice?" "Er..." the sound of papers shuffling echoed throughout the room. "Er... it's a mission filled with danger and excitement." SubQuest Boy sweatdropped. "Why don't I believe you?" Outside of Sammy Filler's house was a tree. In the tree was a black bird, and on the fence sat a white cat, swishing its tail. "Quickly now, SubQuest Boy," the Voice said. SubQuest Boy looked around. "Quickly now do what?" "Save that bird," Voice replied. "It's part of your duties as the Champion of Filler Scenes." "You're joking," SubQuest Boy sweatdropped. "How could it be?" "That is the bird that was in Dream Tides two," Voice explained. "Clearly that vile furry creature intends to harm it. It is your duty as SubQuest Boy to prevent any background or canon fodder character from being harmed offscreen." Voice paused, then whispered. "That sounded convincing, right?" "Yeah, he'll buy it," a different disembodied voice agreed. "That's the neighbour's cat, Fluffykins," SubQuest Boy protested. "It's just a kitten, and it's not even looking at the bird." There was a long pause. SubQuest Boy thought he heard the two disembodied voices talking this out amongst themselves. Then the main disembodied voice spoke again. "LOOK, KID, THIS ADVENTURE IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHETHER YOU WANT IT TO OR NOT. NOW, GO AND SAVE THE BIRD!" He winced. "I thought you said you weren't going to yell anymore?" "I WILL STOP YELLING IF YOU DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD." "All right, all right," SubQuest Boy raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "Why couldn't I just get a nice goldfish or a border collie for an advisor?" "I HEARD THAT." SubQuest Boy walked over towards Fluffykins. "Hey, Fuffykins," he said, reaching out and scratching the kitten under the chin. "Fluffykins!" The neighbour called from her front door. "Din din time, Fluffy- wuffykins!" As the sound of a can opener drifted out from the house's open doorway, Fluffykins's ears perked up. "Mrrrow!" the small white kitten exclaimed, and leapt off of the fence to dash inside the house. "WELL DONE, SUBQUEST BOY," Voice announced. "YOU HAVE SAVED THE DAY." "Actually, no, he hasn't," a voice said. SubQuest Boy turned to see a woman dressed in a red leather cat suit and spiky three-inch heels. She was standing in the road, posing dramatically. "I am Genesis," the woman announced. "I have come to kill you, SubQuest Boy, as you are my mortal enemy!" "What?" SubQuest Boy exclaimed. "But I've never even seen you before!" "Those who seek to pollute the world with pointless filler scenes and strive to protect useless canon fodder characters," Genesis began, pointing and gesturing dramatically. "I, Pretty Protector of Decent Fanfic Genesis, cannot forgive you. In the name of carefully plotted chapters, I shall punish you!" "Er, Voice?" SubQuest Boy coughed. "A little direction on what to do, if you don't mind." "Well... you can't fight her, that's for sure," Voice replied. "That would create some actual conflict..." SubQuest Boy frowned. "You have no idea, do you?" he asked, annoyed. "I'm sure that something will happen to remove this potentially plot-developing event. Don't worry." True to Voice's warning, SubQuest Boy watched as a truck chose that moment to drive down the street and hit the carefully posed Pretty Protector of Decent Fanfic Genesis. "There, as I said," Voice remarked. "THAT ENDS TODAY'S ADVENTURE, SAMMY, SO YOU CAN TAKE OFF YOUR TRANSFORMATION GLASSES." "Er... shouldn't I call for an ambulance or something?" Sammy asked, as he pulled off his sunglasses, fixing his once again brown hair. He took off his gloves, too, just for good measure. "I mean, she was probably hurt pretty bad." There was no reply. "Er, Voice? Voice, are you still there?" Sammy stood there for a moment or two, listening. No one replied, so he shrugged and went back inside. ---- WHAT WONDERFUL ADVENTURE WILL SUBQUEST BOY HAVE NEXT? YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER FILLER-PACKED PART!